Hard to Say I'm Sorry
by The Wicca Raven
Summary: Songfic to Chicago's Hard to Say I'm Sorry. Harry says something terrible to Draco, and Draco says they need a break. Will Harry make it in time to tell Draco he's sorry? And what will he do to make it up to him? Rated M, just to be safe.


Hard to Say I'm Sorry is a Chicago song, and one of my favorites. So…when I heard it for the first time I felt I just had to write a song-fic for it. This is my first song-fic so hopefully it doesn't suck to bad.

Disclaimer: Am I a billionaire by US standards? Do I have more money the Queen of England? Do I make over $100 dollars every minute? No, so I am most certainly not JKR who owns both Draco and Harry.

* * *

"Draco, come on! I want to visit my parents' grave. What is wrong with that? You know I always go Halloween! Why do you want me to come to this party at your job?" Harry asked leaning over the kitchen counter to talk to Draco who had his back turned to Harry and was doing the dishes after dinner. 

"They really want me to come and I am the assistant manager, so I pretty much have to and I don't want to be there alone." Draco said softly bending over to put a pan away in the cabinet next to the sink.

"Ugh! You are impossible! You just won't give up, even when you know it's important! Just because your parents used you to test curses and potions on and tortured you for fun doesn't mean everyone else's parents do that! And some people actually want to see their parent's graves, and remember what they can of their parents instead of pretending Mummy and Daddy never even existed!" Harry shouted, losing his temper. Half-way through his rant, Draco had become very still. He took a deep breath and turned around to face Harry, hurt shining in his silver-grey eyes.

"Harry, we talked about this a while back. I was never sure if we could really work, but I guess old habits die hard and that was a low blow. I can't believe you'd even say that to me if we've really worked through all our issues." Draco said quietly, his voice a little choked. "I think we need to take a break. I'll be leaving for Scotland tomorrow."

Harry seemed to deflate all his anger in that second. "No…you can't…I didn't mean…I just…" he couldn't string any thoughts together. He tried to grab hold of Draco as he swept past to the bedroom to collect his things; he was staying in a hotel tonight.

_"Everybody needs a little time away," I heard her say, "from each other."_

_  
"Even lover's need a holiday far away from each other."_

_  
Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to stay._

"Draco, you can't seriously be leaving. I can't survive without you. I love you. Please don't…I'm sorry! I promise I'll never say anything like that again, Draco! I promise! I love you! I'll die without you! Please, please Draco, I love you, I never meant it!" Harry cried as he watched his lover pack his things and close his suitcase.

"Then why say it in the first place?" Draco asked coolly, softly.

"I…I was angry, Draco. I'm sorry!" Harry cried out from where he was standing at the door. "Please, Draco, I can't live without you!" He begged, tears streaming fast down his face.

"Harry, I just…I can't. I know it's hard, but I really think this'll be good for us." Draco said, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezing, giving Harry a sad half-smile before dropping his hand, and moving past him and out the front door, closing it softly behind him.

_After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to._

_  
And after all that's been said and done,_

_  
You're just the part of me I can't let go._

Harry didn't sleep that night. Draco's warmth was absent. He always loved just snuggling up to Draco and holding onto him all night after one of their many love-making sessions. Draco always whispered sweet words to him as he drifted off. Always ending with "I love you." right before Harry fell asleep.

He could hardly believe Draco was leaving on a train to Scotland tomorrow afternoon. His Draco. His beautiful, sweet, caring Draco. He had cried for around three hours. After lying awake thinking for a while, his sadness beyond tears, he realized that Draco was right, and he should never have said that, no matter how angry he got. He wished that he knew where Draco was so he could go to him. Beg for forgiveness, do something. He couldn't let him go, Draco was the most important thing to him, in the world, and it was time he showed Draco that.

Draco lay awake on the other side of London, staring at the ceiling. Harry and he had had some bad fights, but they always made up, but they had never touched on such a large issue, Draco's past. When he had first been brought to the order, injured, broken, raped, and basically, destroyed, the doctors patched him up, and the order told him to get out of sight, that he was lucky to have even been brought here. He had wandered upstairs where he had ran into Harry who immediately seeing Draco so broken, opened his arms, and held Draco for hours, while he cried, soothing him, making him feel so safe, so cared for; something he had never felt before.

How could Harry have said those things tonight? He had said sorry, but it didn't feel like enough this time. Harry, who had been so kind so man years ago, had said things that somehow cut deeper than anything he had ever faced from his family. Part of him didn't want to be away from Harry, but another part, a bigger part, felt it was for the best. Sighing he closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep only to wake up crying and screaming from a nightmare. He immediately searched for Harry's comforting warmth, only to find, and remember it wasn't there. "It's for the best." His little voice reminded.

_Couldn't stand to be kept away just for the day from your body._

_Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love._

_Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to know._

_Hold me now. I really want to tell you I'm sorry. I could never let you go._

Harry eventually fell asleep and by the time he woke up, it was early afternoon, and while relieving himself a few minutes later, he was struck with a brilliant idea. He knew exactly how to make thing up to Draco. He quickly showered, dressed, and brushed his teeth before heading out. He found what he needed just a few blocks away and headed to the train station. To his shock, Draco's train would be arriving at the station in just a few minutes, and knowing Draco, he knew Draco was already at the front of the line, ready to board, ticket in hand.

He quickly ran past security and crowds of people ignoring the "Oi! Watch it, sonny!" and things of the sort he was getting from the people around him. Finally arriving at Draco's platform, he spotted him, and called out.

"Draco!" When he finally reached Draco, he threw his arms around his neck and suddenly, burst into tears. He hugged Draco tightly, and was surprised when Draco hugged back. "I love you. I am so sorry, I really am Draco, I'm so, so sorry." He whispered in a choked voice into Draco's ear. Draco was rubbing his back softly and pulled Harry even closer before replying simply.

"I know, love, I love you, too." He said, gently rocking Harry in his arms and rubbing his back as Harry continued to cry and whisper apologies and "I love you" into Draco's ear. They held each other for a long time, oblivious to the world around them. Draco's train was long gone by the time they broke apart.

Harry took a deep breath and took Draco's hand in his own, before kneeling down and pulling a small box out of his pocket. "Draco, for years, you've showed me an impossible amount of love, and caring, even when I probably don't deserve it, and you have meant the world to me all these years. It would be an honor to be your husband for the rest of time, through good, and bad. You mean so much to me Draco, and I want to show you just how much you mean to me. You're the best person I've ever met and I've loved you for so many years, and even if something managed to wedge us apart for a while, I'd never stop loving you; you mean the world to me, Draco. You're everything to me. Draco Malfoy, will you marry me?" Harry said opening the box to reveal a solid platinum ring.

Draco burst into tears, and took Harry's hand, pulling him up onto his feet, before throwing his arms around Harry's neck and almost making him drop the ring box. "Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you, I love you! I love you!" Draco continued to repeat words of love against Harry's neck as happy tears fell down his cheeks.

After a few minutes, Harry slipped the ring onto Draco's finger. And the two kissed, tenderly, sweetly, and with more love than they had ever put into a kiss before, holding onto each other in the middle of a platform in London, which would always be special to them, from that point on.

_After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.  
_

_And after all that's been said and done,_

_You're just the part of me I can't let go.  
_

_After all that we've been through, I will make it up to you. I promise to.  
_

_You're gonna be the lucky one._

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And he was, wasn't he? My first song-fic was hopefully a success. And I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for errors, but I was typing this up at 11pm, without my usual amount of sugar and caffeine to keep me alert for errors, so, sorry about that. 

Read and Review, please!


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